Old Town resident locates lost half-brother after 44 years

Old Town resident, Debra Moore, has known she had more than one half-brother since she was 10 years old when her biological mother mentioned she had “other brothers but would never know them.” Since that moment in time she has been excruciatingly curious about her additional half-brothers but had no clue how to locate them. The only information Moore had was that beyond her maternal half-brother her mother told her that there were two other brothers from her father’s first marriage in the early 1940s. One was definitely her half-brother, the other most likely but no one knew for certain. Moore was told that they had been adopted and that was that.

As time went on, and everyone grew older, Debra became more and more interested in attempting to locate and, hopefully, meet her half-siblings; men she was denied the chance to know all her life. Due to very unpleasant circumstances the siblings weren’t permitted to grow up together but when provided something as simple as a birth name and a few morsels of family history Moore’s search went into over-drive in early 2007. “I’m quite certain I’m not alone in this regard but my family of origin has many secrets and it was very difficult to peel back so many thought well hidden paternal layers in order to get to the truth. I had to put my heart aside and was forced to look at things logically. At times it was truly like pulling teeth and incredibly frustrating; so many people knowing the truth had passed away and those left didn’t want to speak about “the situation. Eventually I finally learned the truth which was a bit disturbing, but such is ‘family’ at times,” said Moore.

“I began doing the family genealogy a decade or so ago; even learning about my familial associations with families in Cross City. I then asked my father for the names of his first wife and son(s). He provided me with a smattering of information which piqued my curiosity even further and even with so little to work with I then began to search in earnest. Unfortunately with so little to work with I came up empty-handed time and again.”

“Due to informal and unregistered ‘adoptions’, the Family History Center at the Mormon Church wasn’t able to provide me with any additional clues so I put it aside for a while”, Moore said. “After my father’s life expectancy became very limited in late 2005, I decided to try once again but every time I tossed my bucket in the well it came up empty so I, once again, put my search aside.”

“Because of the emptiness I had felt from such a young age I continued to think about my other half-brother(s) regularly and in early 2007 I decided to give it another try. I contacted surviving family members in Maryland and Florida and what a mess it indeed seemed to be. After learning so many new things I became even more curious about why it all had been done the way it had….my inquisitiveness even more tantalized.”

“During that search I managed to locate another possible paternal half-brother in Maryland (an additional family layer peeled back that is very involved) and he gave me the name of the high school alumni president because he and my known half-brother, Billy, had gone to school together.”

“There were so many different surnames floating around but after a little work I managed to get to the bottom of things; learning the full truth and the surname my half-brother had used all his life was all I needed. Armed with that information I eventually reached the alumni president by email, who was vacationing in Florida of all things, and he provided me the last known telephone number of my half-brother. I called the number in Rhode Island but my brother had moved by then. All I could think to do was reverse-search the number on the Internet, draft a letter, and then send it to the address attached to the phone number adding “Address Correction Requested – Please Forward” to the envelop.”

According to Moore, she then sat back and waited because she had performed a Zaba search on-line and sent letters to just about everyone with her brother’s name, born in the proper timeframe, and there were literally hundreds of them in the US.

“I spent quite a bit on postage stamps but knew the only way I would ever find Billy, if he was still alive, was if I mailed letters to people. My cousin even became involved and began calling folks. I got quite a few ‘Sorry, I’m not him, good luck with your search’ responses but kept waiting, hoping, and praying.”

In April 2007 Moore received an email from her brother; the letter to Rhode Island had been forwarded to his new residence in Ohio and had done the trick! On top of everything else, her half-brother had received her letter on his 63rd birthday.

“I almost didn’t open his email but am so glad I did. Billy and I then began to write one another and speak over the phone – catching up on 4 decades of my life and 6 decades of his. His mother had passed away in 1996 and he never knew of his paternal family or its history; had no clue he had a sister let alone a father who was still alive. Matter of fact for over 20 years we lived within 8 miles of one another, worked in the same business complex, went to the same restaurants and taverns, and never knew it! When he told me he planned to move back to Florida I was beyond thrilled.”

In late October of last year Billy and his wife Stacia met his little sister and her husband, Dan, for lunch in Crystal River.

“I was so excited and couldn’t believe it was finally going to happen; that I had actually found him and was astonished by how much he looked and sounded like our father. I had such a time stopping the tears from flowing and we squeezed each other so tightly I thought I’d break a rib”, said Moore.

“All I could think to do was whisper in his ear ‘I’ve waited for over 40 years for this moment.’ We kept staring at one another and smiling, the feelings within me far more than I could ever describe.“

Billy and his lovely wife have since moved to Pinellas County and plan to spend as much time as possible with his newfound little sister and brother-inlaw.

“After over 60 years Billy now has a history, something very new for him and also has the opportunity to become acquainted with his father, who also resides in the same area,” said Moore. “I feel so blessed but must admit that family secrets are so ridiculous and can be incredibly devastating for the innocents involved. Everyone must think about the potential impact on others before they choose to do something. We all have the right to know our family of origin and it is a bit scary to think that because I sought to share my life with a man like my father, Billy and I could have easily dated one another when we lived so close to each other so long ago. The timing was perfect and our paths crossed so very many times. It boggles my mind to think what could have happened and how our father would have reacted had Billy and I met and I introduced my ‘date’ to dad. What a sight that would have been!”

“On the other hand it is beyond marvelous to have not only found my brother after all these years but to have been able to give both him and our father the opportunity to finally know one another. So much time was unnecessarily lost and it’s a wonderful feeling to have been able to give them the opportunity; what a priceless gift for them both! Life is so very short and no matter what we do, even mistakes we’ve made, we must always think long-term realizing that real honesty is essential. Everyone should be given the chance to know their family members, all of them; it is extremely important.”

“During my search I learned one very important thing; be true to your heart, waste no time on ego, hide nothing from those you love, and realize that when you really want to do something you actually can. Never give up and never deny yourself one moment of time or the pleasure of enjoying those within your life. Prayers can be answered!!! But thank goodness for computers; were it not for the Internet and family members willing to finally own up to the truth I probably would never have found my brother.”